sadness

I hate the army. more like I hate the communication, or lack there of, that comes from the army. When we first hear about haiti the time frame is 2 months. Then 2-5 months. Then 2 weeks, then 3-6 months, then only 17 more days. Now we have official word, 6 more months, July 18th. "Well at least it's not Afghanistan"... I'm tired of hearing it, it is just as hostile over there. I am just as lonely here. Nora is still growing up just as fast. So no.......... it's not better one way or the other, it sucks, no matter which way you spell it out, being away from your family for 6 months sucks. When he left I thought I could handle this, but now I am beginning to realize I can't. I want him back here. i need him back here. If you don't want to hear me have self pity anymore then stop reading my blog, cause right now I just want to feel bad for my self. my current emotion right now is empty, and I have a feeling it will stay like this for a while.

things are looking up

We have entered the contest....! "Regins and Kelly -Beautiful Baby Search" go to their website on March 1st and vote. Nora Joy could win $125.000 in college education! don't worry........ I will remind everyone closer to the date!
Well Nora is completely on formula now, and i just can't quiet figure out her schedule anymore..... sometimes she is hungry, and sometime she is not. It has only been about 2 days of being off schedule, but when it has been 3 months of perfect scheduling, 2 days (and nights) are pretty hard. ANy baby wise moms out there have any suggestions??
So Hector is still in Haiti, but he bought a a phone over there so I get to talk to him everyday!!!!! It makes things sooo much better. He finally got to wash himself in someway yesterday, after being there since the 16th.... 11 days, YIKES! He is such a clean freak (and I mean that in a good way) I know he was just dying to be clean! Other than that, he is doing really good over there. I just love him so much, and can't wait to see his bubbly face!!
My house is well on it's way to being a home! SHopping Shopping Shopping, that's all it takes! I refinished some kitchen chairs and they look great!







and I am doing another round of shopping tomorrow, hoping to find a headboard for our master.
I should go to sleep now, gotta be well rested for a full day of shopping tomorrow!

One day down, who knows how many more to go.

So Hector left for Haiti Saturday night.. we hope he will only be gone 2 months. Everything over there is getting worse everyday. But I can't think about it too much or I will drive myself crazy. Like yesterday I sat around the house all day with Nora and looked at pictures on the internet of Haiti and all the destruction that is over there.



I finally got out of the house around 7 ish and I felt so much better, So this morning I woke up at 9 and took a shower and bathed Nora Joy, then we got ready to go out just to do some errands. And even if I just go out to do 1 thing is is so much better than staying inside and crying all day. It is going to be a long 2 months but constantly thinking about him and worrying about him will only make it that much worse.
I am cooking dinner tonight for Sara since she just had baby Jessa! I feel so horrible she is home by herself with Emily and Jessa and Geoff is over in Haiti. So I am bringing her Italian sausage pasta!! Yummy! Mom is coming up tomorrow, her flight gets in at 2:30. I have a genius bar appointment in Durham (where I have to pick mom up from the airport) at 11:15 to get my computer back to the fastest that it could be. And that gives me a couple hours to spend in the mall!! Anthropologie and Urban here I come!
I am just planning my days so that I will have something productive to do everyday... just to keep from missing him.

here is a link of the news over in Haiti and Hector is on it..... for like 2 seconds and he is smiling of course!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#34911184

I'll be writing more and more the longer that he is gone.
I love you hector!!

mother dearest.

last night mom got hurt, she had hot grease splash on her face, neck, chest, and stomach. She went to the hospital in Fayette and then got sent to Grady. When I found out I seriously had a mild panic attack. All Megan told me was that grease spilt on mom and she would probably have to have surgery. Later when we got to the hospital I heard that her lips were completely burnt off, and I FREAKED. I was too nervous to even go in there and see her. But once I did go see her I felt a lot better, it wasn't as bad as I was thinking but it is still a burn on the face. All of our family came, and that is soo nice to have a family like that. When I went in to see her, she said to me "little kids are going to think I'm a monster" and I just broke down, I couldn't imagine anyone thinking MY mom is a monster, but this kind of stuff can happen to anyone, even if they don't deserve it. After I got home from the hospital I was thinking about how if she were to be scared really badly, this is the only way Nora would remember her. She would never know mom as we all know her.OK I am just rambling. Just thinking way to much. I feel horrible about all of this, not that I could do anything to prevent it.I am sitting in mom's room right now, and she is snoring reeeeaaaly loud, and normally i would be annoyed, but now I couldn't be happier to hear that. Well enough of this cause I have cried a lot in the last 24 hours. I t probably doesn't help that earlier yesterday before mom got hurt I found out that a friend I used to hang out with committed suicide the following night. Just like that, life is gone. I guess I was just thinking how everything could have been much worse, good thing it wasn't. Love you mom.

Anywaysssss, I finally ordered a new phone, I will be in North Carolina in 5-7 business days, wooh! And tomorrow Nora has a doctor's appointment for her next set of shots, since she is on a different shot schedule she has to go every month. And I have a consultation about my stretch marks, I want them GONE! Then after all that is done, Nora and I are flying back to North Carolina! Hector gets out of the field tonight so we get to see him tomorrow! I am just worried about how I am going to get all my stuff back up there... yikes! Well i have a long day tomorrow, nighty.

laying it all out

Just in case someone is reading this that doesn't know my story.

I went to Sandy Creek high school. I played volleyball for Coach Paul Collins. I also played for several Tsunami coaches and Del Hughes of Atlanta Boom. Volleyball used to be my life! I wanted to go to college on a full scholarship, to any D1 college that would take me, and yes, I was good enough, but not focused enough. I played for Tsunami all the way through my 16's season, and I loved it!!!! Club volleyball was the only kind of volleyball I wanted to play.

Then my 17's season I didn't make the 1 team at Tsunami, they only kept 1 setter (I was a setter by the way) which was clearly a mistake made apparent by the way that team's season went. After that I never looked at volleyball the same, it was more of a job, not something I loved to do anymore. The Parents involved started turning on coaches who were once their favorite, and players who were once their friends, all in hopes for a scholarship to the best school for their very own daughter. After that, Mallie (my best friend) and I went to another club, Atlanta Boom. There I was placed on an 18's team, when I was only 17. Our team wasn't so good, but we did make the best of it. While on that team, I met Hector! At one of my volleyball tournaments, he was like a knight in shining armor!!!!! AMAZING.

My next seasons went well. Until my senior high school season, it was supposed to be the best year of my life. We had a great team, I had great friends, and I was dating the man of my dreams, although he lived in a different state, we worked it out! So we had summer workouts, and we taught summer camps to middle schoolers, and we did summer scrimmages. Then when tryouts were over. we were all stretching it out, there were not very many people there, just enough to fill up JV and Varsity, and since I had been on varsity since I was a freshmen, it was no sweat. This team we had been building since 7th grade, was about to dominate finally our senior year. So coach Chandler (assistant lady coach, has no idea how to play volleyball correctly) calls me over, and she says "Coach Collins needs to talk to you", I go over there, and he says "we have 3 setters here, and after evaluationg everyone today, we won't be keeping you on the team" it hit me like a ton of bricks...... you WHAT???????? and that was the end of my life as I knew it. No more Sandy Creek, no more championship, no more confidence.

I couldn't even show my face at Sandy Creek anymore, I was so embarrassed. the GHSA rules stated that I could not go to another school in Georgia and play volleyball unless I actually moved houses, and all schools already had their roster filled with D1 bound setters. So I moved. To North Carolina. Into an apartment, with Hector. I did research online of what high school near his military base had the best team. Jack Britt won in all my researching. So that's where I went. The volleyball there wasn't near as competitive, and I lost interest. It was horrifying going to a new school my senior year, leaving the friends I had since I was in Kindergarten. Hector was really the only thing that kept me sane, I just don't make friends that quickly, or easily. And everyone was already in their little clicks. I just really didn't fit in. But I told everyone back home that it was fun, and that everything was going good, but it wasn't. I cried pretty much everyday, I didn't eat lunch with anyone for the first week, and that's along time in the high school world. And when I finally did eat lunch with someone, it was a girl on my volleyball team, and we sat on the stairs because there were no other open spots to sit. It was nothing like Sandy Creek where me and my friends were so close we never had to worry about where to sit, we could sit anywhere! I only went to 1 football game my senior year.. it was pretty horrible, what's the point in a high school football game if you don't know anyone on the team, and you barely know the people in the stands. So I opted out of pretty much every event that went on. But life goes on.

After that season, Hector and I decided we wanted to get married!!! So we did, 3 weeks after I turned 18! And I didn't tell anyone back home..... I did online school and drove back and forth from North Carolina with Hector, to Georgia where my school was. Then Atlanta Boom season started and i was in Georgia a lot for practice. But mine and Hectors trip to New York for new years......I wound up PREGGO. Quit volleyball all together, became a full time Army wife... at the drop of a dime. What a change!

We got another apartment with an extra bedroom for a nursery, and the pregnancy began. 9 months......... that's a long time. And I spent it in an apartment, that has blue carpet. I spent the beginning without many friends to hang out with. I spent it without my family, which was the hardest part of it all. I had a horrible, unorganized doctor, and I gained a lot of weight. Pregnancy was just not for me. It was so hot outside I didn't even want to get out of the air conditioning.

But the pregnancy passed, and we ended up with a beautiful baby girl, who is currently trying to talk to me! We have a house ready for when we move back to Georgia and it is amazing. So I guess with all that I was saying above, I got a great husband and a great marriage. I also have a perfect little girl to raise in my perfect little house. Never thought the teenager who married an Army guy and got pregnant her senior year would make it this far? I'm just trying to beat the odds.

starting it back up

So my sister convinced me that I need to start my blog back up, as if anyone reads it except for them. Nora boo is sleeping right ow so i will write until she wakes up and it will be time for her to eat. She had a cold for a couple of days but it is much better now. She actually slept through the nigh t again last night (like 7 hours) then she woke up to eat and slept for another 4 hours after that. Mallie and Amanda came over last night and spent the night! They love the house. Hector is at work in NC while I am here in Georgia, better than being up there by myself. Today uncle Burt is installing Direct TV at the house.... so no more watching "That 70's show" in black and white, me Mallie and Amanda tried last night to make it not black and white, but couldn't seem to figure it out, uncle Burt came over this morning and made it color in about 5 min. He's amazing like that. I have a list of things I need to get done before I go back to NC, and I'm doing pretty good on it so far. I need to make Nora a doctor appointment for her January shots, since she is on the alternate shot schedule she needs to get them every moth pretty much, which isn't bad in my opinion because I always have concerns for the doctor to look at. And I looooove my doctors office, we mostly have just seen the nurse practitioner but I think she is great, it's just friendly and they didn't give me any shit for wanting to do Nora's shots differently. As long as she gets them all before she goes into kindergarden it wont be a big deal. Also on my list I need to mail my friend Ross something in Afghanistan, I don't really know what to mail him but I think anything will be nice. Any ideas? Writing in my blog is also on my list....... so CHECK! Direct TV, internet, garage door opener, and security system (all on my list also) and uncle burt can do most of that, so that's pretty convenient. I got a new lantern chandelier that Callie found for me (thanks Callie) it is soo perfect, exactly what I was looking for. That is pretty much what all is on my list, and I also need to hang up all my clothes, and Nora's clothes, but a lot of them are dirty and I left my whole bottle of Dreft at mom's house, I think Burt is getting it for me (since I don't have a car). Once I get that I can wash all her clothes she wore in Ohio and get those put away. Oh yea, Ohio was pretty great, wasn't as cold as I was expecting it to be, but maybe that is because I didn't ever just hang out outside, and I actually had a winter jacket. I am trying to pay my mortgage online, and they just make it so complicated, I guess I will figure it out eventually. Well my computer is about to die and there is no use in me going downstairs to get the charger when I am almost done with the blog anyways..... yes i said it ANYWAYSSSS, Megan hates that, because apparently that isn't a word, it is just anyway.. with no S, that just sounds weird. Oh and I love my hubby wubby who probably won't read this, but if you do it's nice to be included in my blog. I get to see him in like 7 days, the field time got cut down I assume because of weather, but who cares why, it happened and now it isn't a whole 10 days anymore!!! wooh. I will post some pictures later, I just uploaded a bunch on Facebook, Jillian, you need Facebook!!!!!!! OK well I am going to unload the dishwasher while Nora boo is still asleep.

Looooovvve.